Saturday, 21 September 2013

MAD Blood Bowl: Egdenberg Undertakers Special Report #2

Welcome Blood Bowl fans, to my second special report on the Egdenberg Undertakers. I'm Bertwold Humpernickle, and this week I bring you the rundown of the thrilling match between the Egdenberg Undertakers and the Ugly Gitz.

Match 2

For the home match against the Ugly Gitz Orc team, fifteen thousand Undertakers fans faced off against thirteen thousand bellowing Gitz away fans, with a whopping attendance of twenty eight thousand.

This match was played as a Testimonial game, and as the action played out on the field, burly and beweaponed coin collectors muscled their way through the crowds, extorting generous 'donations' from the fans.

The match was action packed from the first kick, as the Black Orc and Mummy lead offensive lines proceeded to pummel each other through the entire game, sending a steady stream of moaning and groaning players to the 'screaming room' on stretchers.

An early touchdown by Undertakers Runner Vishur, saw the home team take a one nil lead, putting the Orcs under pressure early on, though it must have been uppermost in the minds of the Egdenberg coaching team that the Ugly Gitz previous match against the Lions of the Three Rings was won for the Orcs by an Elven concession, when they found themselves without a single fit player to continue with the next drive.

The Undertakers' regenerative capabilities were working overtime this match, and despite the Orcs best efforts, the Undertakers players just wouldn't stay down. A controversial point in the match sent the fans into a rage, after the recently regenerated Zombie Herman Gerter managed to kill the Black Orc Blocker Bonecrusher in a blatant and brutal foul. The referee (reportedly busy giving a mid-match interview to this very sports reporter at the time the foul took place) and his family have since been taken into 'protective care' by the MAD League governing council.

Once the Undertakers had won the numerical advantage on the pitch, things went from difficult to downright dangerous for the fearsome Orcs still eager for a fight on the line of scrimmage, and a late touchdown, (again by Vishur, fed by a pass from the team's new Ghoul Runner Hashak) saw the Undertakers two nil up at half time.

The second half was heralded by a cheering match between the rival fans, but with home advantage and their team ahead and looking good, the Egdenberg fans succeeded in drowning out the opposition. It has been commented on that the Undead fans have an unfair advantage due to the number of Banshees attending matches these days. Unfair? This is Blood Bowl!

An over eager kick by the Gitz gave a touchback to the Undertakers, which went to team Captain Kratorus the Black, and the Undertakers then proceeded to battle their way up the right wing, players storming through the gap in the Gitz reduced line in a classic screening play. Valiant efforts by Gitz defenders saw the screening cage broken open and Kratorus smashed into the dirt by Ballbreaker. It looked like the Orcs would manage to prevent a third touchdown by the Undead, but a brutal blitz action by the Egdenberg Undertakers' second Wight Vermis Kraal blasted Ballbreaker into the stands, where the Undertakers' fans vented their pent up excitement on the unfortunate player.

With few opposing players left to stand in their way, the Undertakers ball runners took a leisurely stroll towards the end zone, while the Mummies, Cheops the Great and Setti the Spike made sure the remaining Orc players stayed down.

The final seconds of the match following the touchdown by Kratorus the Black saw an Undertakers kick ignored by the vengeful Gitz players on the line of scrimmage, with their beady eyes on one last crack at the Undertakers players, but it all came to an abrupt halt when a missed swing by an Orc Lineman saw him dropped into the dirt for his trouble. 

Final score: 3-0 to the Egdenberg Undertakers.

This match saw the Undertakers' first win of the season, and second fatality caused in two games, and in a later interview with the Undertakers head coach, Rakarth von Kampman revealed that the deal was signed on another Ghoul Runner, Ghasha, previously of the Mourkhain Murder, recently disbanded following a purge by a band of Witch Hunters.

Yet to be defeated, could this be the start of the Egdenberg Undertakers push for league dominance? I guess it's far too early to say, but a in very brief press conference, team owner Erik Schwarznacht told the media that he intended to take the Undertakers all the way to the League finals in Altdorf...

That concludes this second special report on the Egdenberg Undertakers progress, until next time, this is Bertwold Humpernickle signing off.

Thanks for reading...

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